Not what we had hoped.....

I apologize for the silence, but yesterday was such a draining day that I just didn't have the energy to write last night. Unfortunately, the news we received yesterday was not what we wanted to hear. I spoke with Dr. Darwin around noon, and he confirmed what in our deepest of hearts we probably already knew, but had hoped and prayed that the 15% would be in our favor. Dad has an official diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, Stage 2. Stage 2 is good. We'll take that. Although the mass is large, at 4cm, it appears to be contained to the pancreas. It appears to be able to be removed. All of the questions we now have going into this next step will be answered by the surgical oncologist, Dr. Alexander, next Friday, October 5th. That appointment will be a consult on next steps, scheduling the much anticipated surgery date, and determining exactly what the surgery will entail.

I am very thankful that my sister's family came up late Thursday night to be with Mom and Dad when they received the news yesterday. I would not have wanted them to have to stare at each other alone after receiving my call, and I was relieved to be able to talk with my brother-in-law, Marc, rather than Mom. Mom is having a hard time. Many of you want to know how Mom and Dad are doing. They are sad and....stressed....and just want things to progress more quickly than they are. We all do. They don't really want to talk about it or answer questions. Makes it difficult to stop thinking about it when you have to constantly talk about it.

Today was a GREAT day, however! Mom and Dad came to Virginia to my house for the day. Jill, Marc, and the kids were all here too. Sam and Will started their own "Hamilton Polar Bear Club" and were swimming in the pool. The guys watched the WVU game. Dad's "couch coaching" was in full swing and he even partook in a "fancy boy beer" (Dad's term for any beer other than Bud). Dad was great. He looked good. He ate well, and obviously his coaching was strong b/c they won! It was a much needed jaunt out of the house and out of WV for the day. From what Mom said, Dad mowed the lawn this morning.

I pray for an earlier appointment with Dr. Alexander. I pray for a surgery date that will be sooner than later. I pray for supernatural wisdom for each person at UMMC who will have Dad in his/her care. I pray that Mom and Dad can hold peace in their hearts at such a stressful time.

It's going to be a loooooong week.

Good night and love to all.....Jen

Dad is doing great right now. He has not taken any pain meds since yesterday afternoon, and he's entertaining going to work for a little while tomorrow. For those of you on his email distribution, you know this means......clear out your inbox b/c he's got FOUR days worth of emails to catch up on and forward! By lunch time tomorrow, we will all be caught up on the latest uses for dryer sheets, Coca-cola, and WD-40. We will learn the "real" story behind our current President....AND.....we will be privilege to some of the funniest videos of some of God's cutest creatures....baby animals. Yes, my email friends, my Yahoo inbox will be fulfilled once again. It's been a little empty in there, and I welcome the business!

In college I had the opportunity to wait tables and tend bar. It was one of the greatest jobs I ever had. I learned a lot about dealing with all kinds of people. I also learned that not everyone understood the concept of tipping. Only receiving an hourly rate of $2.19, earning adequate tips to compensate for the tax pay out was important. Back then, I learned to truly appreciate exactly what "15%" meant. I was thrilled with 15%. I was pleased with 15%. I find myself tonight being, once again, willing to be appreciative, thrilled and pleased with 15%. There is a 15% chance that this "mass" is absolutely benign, and when I take that perspective, 15% sounds pretty darn good to me. We pray that the path report we receive tomorrow shares this very news. I know Mom and Dad share no desire to make that call tomorrow, and they've said as much.  I will make the call. The anxiety is overwhelming. The fear is paralyzing. You shake dialing the phone. Your heart pounds in your ears so loudly that you have to turn the volume up on your phone. Your voice crackles just talking to the other person on the phone. You try not to cry. What do you say? "Hey, ummm, I'm calling to see what...umm. I'm calling to see if I have....ummm....." You simply hope that the person answering can take over the conversation for you. This was my experience in 2010. I can relate to what my dad is going through.  Two years ago tomorrow, I underwent my first surgery to remove breast cancer. Funny how life times things. 

Tonight I am happy that Dad has a Ravens game to "coach from the couch." Tomorrow I am happy he is going to work. It's amazing how important these little distractions become. 

To all, keep Dad in your prayers. Pray for that 15%. If that 15% is not God's will, pray for the inner strength our family will need to work through the next part of this process. 

Love to all.....Jen

NOT an emergency?

It's been a long day...again. Dad has been able to eat a little, including a few Good & Plenty licorice candies every now and again. Yeah, Mom is none too thrilled with that.  The pain doesn't seem to be letting up, though. The need for the Percocet has been constant. I'm guessing having your pancreas stabbed with a 25 gauge needle 5 times has caused the inflammation Dr. Darwin said may occur.

I spoke with Dr. Alexander's office this morning. He is the surgical oncologist we have been referred to. He is highly recognized in the field and seems to be a rock star in the world of pancreatic issues. The "first available" appointment, according to the scheduler, is next Friday morning. I respectfully told her that was just not soon enough for us. She put me on hold for a while "to see what she could do." When she came back on she indicated that Dr. Darwin's referral had not indicated that my dad's case was an emergency, and  Dr. Alexander was not there for her to speak with. Not an emergency????  Really???  I wanted to scream, "Hello in there, lady! My dad has this THING on his pancreas and we want it out yesterday! THAT IS an emergency!!!!"  I just must be purely exhausted b/c for those of you who know me, I'm usually a pretty direct person and in times of emotional crisis, speaking my mind has never been an issue. (Yeah, Dad and I are cut from the same cloth.) She apologized, but again stated that October 5th was the first available. Of course we took that appointment and with the understanding that if something opened up sooner that we wanted it.

But maybe the fact that this is not considered "an emergency" is a good sign? The pancreas is not the favorable organ to have a 4cm mass to decide to take up residency, but along the way there have been small blessings to give us reason to be cautiously optimistic. I like to think that this "non-emergency" is another one. We have many friends, family and even strangers praying for Dad's health, and praying for supernatural wisdom upon the health care specialists working with him. I ask that we all continue our prayer warrior efforts. I pray that Dad's pain ease so that he may swing a golf club sooner than later ;)

Many thanks and much love to all.....Jen

Judge Judy makes everything better....

We finally left the hospital around 3:30 this afternoon. Dad was not feeling terrific. Let's just say that we now know for sure that anesthesia makes him feel sick. Dr. Darwin had indicated that pancreatitis was a possible side effect of today's procedure so it appears the Percocet is going to get a work out tonight, too. Dad opted to ride in the back seat, but don't think for a minute that his discomfort and nausea prevented him from any "back seat driving" out of Baltimore. Knowing my dad, he just wanted to get home and resume normalcy as soon as possible and he wasn't about to risk that by me getting turned around in B-town during rush hour.  Since I was driving HIS car, I allowed it :)

...and resume normalcy was what he did. As I was walking out the door to head to the pharmacy, who else did I hear on the TV lecturing an individual on the stupid, lazy, and irresponsible decisions made than Judge Judy. The entertaining rants of Judge Judy makes everything better. Normalcy had been officially resumed!

The reports provided by Dr. Darwin indicated that we have reason to be cautiously optimistic. We do not have a final path report yet, so nothing is confirmed yet. Tomorrow we will schedule an appointment with a surgical oncologist. We hope to see him by the end of this week.

Dad seems to be finally sleeping soundly on the couch.

Thank you for the messages, thoughts and prayers.

Much love to all....Jen

It's hard not to giggle....just a little....

So my mom and I are sitting in the family waiting room at the UMMC in Baltimore. What an amazing facility and what an amazing staff of people. Ironically, Mom was just here on August 13th for a surgery of her own. Little did we know that more than a month later we would be back, but the patients would have traded places. We have made a "new friend," about a dozen chairs down from us, who has a set of headphones on and, who I believe, plans to audition for American Idol. As Sam would say, she is "rocking out" and singing as loudly as she can.  I believe she was placed here to lighten the hearts of us waiting to hear about our loved ones. We have bonded. Funny how you bond with strangers at emotional times. However, I still wish Simon Cowell were here. As stressed as we are, it is hard not to giggle....just a little.

The procedure being performed today is an upper endoscopy and endoscopic ultrasound test. Dr. Peter Darwin, who has performed 3,000-4,000 of these, indicated that he will take a look around (I believe he's really looking at staging), do a fine needle aspiration (biopsy), and put in a stent in the bile duct. The bile duct is being blocked by a 4cm mass on the pancreas. The stent will relieve the jaundice. After the procedure, he indicated that we would all have a "sit down" and talk about what today's procedure has revealed. I'm praying for the 15% chance that this thing is benign.

Dad is dealing well considering the man hasn't been a hospital patient since he had his tonsils out at the age of 5. So far, he is being very cooperative. For those of you who know my dad, you know what I mean:)  It was interesting to listen to the long list of questions asked and his responses. He really doesn't know if he's allergic to anything or how he reacts to anesthesia or how he typically heals/responds to surgery b/c he's 70 (almost 71) and he's not ever had a hospital stay. He's always been on the other side. He looks pretty good, but it was evident this morning that the jaundice was in the whites of his eyes had set in. Dr. Darwin noticed immediately.

For my prayer warriors, keep praying. Love to all....Jen.

"Procedure????"

"Procedure?"

I have spoken with my mom a few times today. It's not a good thing that she's at home alone right now. Too much time alone with her thoughts. The good news is....We have an appointment tomorrow at noon for a "procedure." However, Mom doesn't seem to know what that procedure is, and I'm sure Dad is not being forthcoming with her. I am pleased with the urgency with which this specialist is treating this case. I hope to be further impressed tomorrow during our appointment.

Stay tuned.....

Brown Pee Never A Good Thing....

So maybe that's sharing just a little too much info immediately, but as it turns out all throughout your life, your pee has a lot to do with one's overall health, and that's where this story begins......

A few weeks ago, over several chats with my mom on the phone, she had been mentioning in passing that Dad just "hadn't been feeling well." He had "a bug." He had very little appetite and was only eating vanilla ice cream. My dad has never really been sick. He could probably count on one hand the number of times in his life where he took an antibiotic of any sort. He's never had any type of surgery. He's never had a hospital stay. Of his same aged peers, he's been of the "healthiest."

After hearing that he enjoyed only two beers at the Ravens Monday Night FB game on September 10th, I knew there was more going on. (I've tailgated with my dad many times. It's been one of "our things" over the years.) When I started to push for a little more info, Mom added to the "not feeling well" the fact that he had been peeing BROWN. When I heard that, my gut dropped. I had heard these combination of symptoms far too many times in the last year, and I knew it could potentially mean Dad was in for some life-changing news. Unfortunately, I was right.

On Thursday morning, Dad finally called his Dr. to get an appointment. He was seen immediately and spent most of his day, except for the time spent in his truck during a fire drill at the medical facility, waiting on results. On Friday morning, he was sent for more tests: MRI and CT Scan. On Friday evening, my parents learned that Dad has "a large pancreatic mass pressing on a valve between the liver and pancreas," and he is being referred to a pancreatic specialist at the University of Maryland. (Just as an fyi, my mom just had surgery August 13th at the University of Maryland. Yeah, they've had quite a bit going on lately.)

At the time of this posting, we are just waiting to hear when his appointment will be. As we learn more info and are ready to share, I will post to this blog and hope to use this as the primary means of communicating info for my parents. Mom and dad are very overwhelmed with this information and what it could potentially mean for our family. Please feel free to ask me questions on here or post comments, etc....

Many thanks for all of you who are already our prayer warriors.