It's no "coincidence"

Dad was released to Hospice care in his home yesterday. It was a fast and furious several hours, but with a little bit of teamwork, we created a very cozy living arrangement. It didn't take long for the felines to test out the new hospital bed and snuggle right in, even before Dad got home. 

Before Dad left the hospital, one of the nurses who took care of him over the last couple of weeks stopped by on her day off to say good-bye. She was one of my favorites, and an absolute love, and you could tell she enjoyed Dad's one-liners.  Pictured above is a copy of a note she wrote to him. 

It is no coincidence that her name is "Faith." 

Home to Hospice

Thinking about the end of life process in someone who is terminally ill is very difficult. We wonder when. We wonder what it will look like. We wonder what it "feels" like for our loved one. Just as I've turned to the internet to research this cancer, the doctors on Dad's team, and all of the treatments and surgeries, I've also turned to it looking for how we can help Dad move through these final stages. I actually want to share a resource with everyone because I appreciate the grace and love with which the site was written. Credit was given to Hospice:  http://www.craigscause.ca/final-stage-of-death/

So after reading that, observing the changes in Dad the last week or so, and listening to the doctors, what became more clear was the need to introduce options. More intense care is needed. The tubes, the drains, the poking and prodding and endless procedures.......enough. Dad has had enough. We already know that there is nothing left to do to treat the cancer, and all care at this point would be palliative. So, the very, very difficult decision has been made to allow the doctors to release Dad to Hospice care in his home in WV. He just wants to go home and be in his house with his TV and all his stuff, and let's be honest.......with those felines. Once that is all set up and the appropriate equipment has been delivered to his house, we will transport Dad home. 

I have observed Dad to become more confused with each day. He sleeps most of the time, and while floating in and out of sleep, he may ask a question about something from my childhood. ("Do you have any track meets this week?") Yet, he still throws in that occasional smarty pants response to a question, which has become something Dad is known for on Weinberg 5. He's got nurses and techs that come to visit and check in on him, even though he may not be their patient on that day. His "quips" have become quite popular. That sense of humor is still there:)

Much leaking still commences from time to time, and we pray a lot. Your prayers for strength and guidance and peace are much appreciated. We have been able to "keep on keeping on" b/c of your prayers. There's no doubt about. We appreciate all that everyone is doing for us so that we can be here with Dad. It helps to be able to divide and conquer with these tasks b/c it is all very overwhelming. The child care, the play dates, the kitty sitting.....everything....thank you! 

Pray for a smoooooth transport and transition from hospital to home. 

Much love to all......Jen

Preparation

I'm leaking. As I sit here and watch Dad sleep, I leak. Tears. Snot. All of it is just rolling out and pouring down my face. I'd describe myself as nothing short of a hot mess at the moment.

The rapid deterioration in the last week has caught me by surprise. I suppose a bit of that has been some aspect of denial. As someone close to my dad once said to me when this diagnosis first occurred, "Jen, if anyone can beat this, it's your dad." For the last 18 months, I have believed that to be true. My whole life my father has been "one tough dude," and I believe everyone else would concur on that note. However, as I sit here with my head on Dad's feet and watch him sleep, I see this little old man who put up one helluva fight, and now he's just tired......and I realize that the changes in his physical and emotional being are signs of preparation.... of shutting himself down.

Ugh....I'm leaking again.....

Earlier this evening, after Mom and Jill left, Dad asked me if I were "taking all of this in stride." "Yup," I responded. "Good," he said rather sternly. Sounds like Dad, right? He's not only preparing himself, now he's preparing me.

Tough day all the way around.....

For whatever reason, this posting didn't publish Wednesday night........

Those peaks of strength we witnessed over the weekend have since faded. Dad is getting weaker and shows no real interest in eating. Today he's had bouts of diarrhea and vomiting and a myriad of other issues. Throughout the day, different members of Dad's amazing team of docs visited the room to see the family. It appears that the CA19-9 levels are over 5000 and there is a strong belief that the cancer is on the move. The hope of doing a gastric bypass surgery to alleviate the eating issues has also since faded. The only solution now is to put in a GJ tube in Dad's gut for him to receive nutrition of some sort. Yes, it seems we are at that point of palliative care versus treatment and/or prevention of metastasis. It has been a day of devastating news.

It is possible that Dad will be discharged on IV fluids and antibiotics. He wants to go home for at least a day to put some things in order, but then has agreed to move in with Matt, Sam, and me. Mom cannot do this alone. Everyone is always welcome to my home to visit! 

In addition to the difficulties with my dad, my aunt (mom's sister) has lost the ability to talk or use her arms after having a procedure performed earlier this week. 

Tough day all the way around.....

From Medical ICU to Normal WBC in 7 days!

It's amazing the progress that Dad has made in 7 days!!! A week ago Dad had been flown from Hagerstown to Baltimore and admitted to ICU. He was diagnosed with his 5th septic (yes, FIVE!) infection, since diagnosis in September 2012.

He was moved out of ICU on Monday and it was also at that time that intervention radiologists placed a drain through his side into his liver to drain the infections. Yes, this is the SAME procedure that had been done in December, and it does involve quite a bit of pain. So yeah, Percocet is back on the scene. 

The same three bugs that were having a party on his liver in December returned for an encore: klebsiella, entercoccus, and enterobacter. These are all bacteria that are naturally occurring in our gut, and every time Dad has a new stent placed, they take over. On Thursday, another CT scan was performed, and 2 more abscesses were observed. Sooooo.....2 more drains were placed into Dad's side yesterday. Yes....1 drain + 2 drains = 3 drains coming out of his side.....all filling up with pus. He's like a Christmas tree with various ornaments...:) 

Some good news reported today was that Dad's white blood cell count (WBC) is normal, AND he walked a lap around the hospital floor! This is great news b/c it appears that we are starting to get the infection controlled. I can't help but wonder if the "under-age contraband" that was smuggled in last night may have been the best meds yet.....and as much as most of you think I'm talking about BEER, I'm actually referring to 3 grandchildren! No one under the age of 18 is be in the rooms, but the nurses did bend for us a little. It was good all the way around. 

Hmmmmm.....how to smuggle in the felines............

I am amazed at the improvements in Dad's health in such a short time, and it is without a doubt a response to the many, many prayers surrounding my family. Please continue to keep us all in your thoughts and your prayers. Some of you have expressed an interest in visiting with Dad for a bit, and regardless of what Dad says, please consider doing so. It really does do him well to chatter about politics and sports with someone other than the same faces he sees most of the time. 

More news.....just in from my sister who is in Baltimore now.....Dad reported feeling stronger today than he has in a while. Woo-hoo! 

Much love to all. Good night, everyone....................Jen

Out of MICU!

The abscess has been drained and Dad has been moved to a surgical floor. No more ICU! He's in quite a bit of pain, but he's got some percocet on board and hopefully that will keep the pain to a tolerable level. Hopefully he'll be able to take in some liquid foods tonight and start to gain more of his strength back. Right now, Judge Judy is on the TV, and Mom & Dad are napping. Hm, seems like things are feeling a little more normal. 

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  

Another uneventful night.....

Dad continues to push on, maintaining stable vitals and no fever. He's on broad spectrum antibiotics to kill the Klebsiella (yup, again) infection and we're waiting for "his turn" with interventional radiology to place another drain into his liver. 

Dr. Alexander was just in too. He's the surgical oncologist who's been with Dad since Day 1. He said Dad looks good and spoke of moving him to a surgical floor.....no more ICU???  How fantasic would THAT be? VERY! 

So let me go backwards a bit......

On Friday, just 3 days ago, we met with Dr. Alexander to discuss surgical options to #1) address the infections that have always followed the stent placements (Dad had a 2nd duodenal stent placed 2/11/14) and #2) to fix the repeating problem of the duodenum strangulating, which has prevented food from passing to the small intestine. Dad's been on a liquid only diet for almost a month now, and that's just no fun for someone whose always enjoyed a good steak! 

On Friday, there was a surgery plan. Dad was going to be admitted to UMMC on Tuesday for 5 days of nutritional therapy. On March 10, Dr. A would perform a surgery to bypass the area where the tumor is, with the hope that eventually, Dad could resume eating more solid food, get more nutrients absorped into his body and get his strength back. 

BUT......Klebsiella strikes again, throwing a wrench into that plan. 

From all of that background info, here's what we all need to hold onto and pray for.....Dr. Alexander, a surgical oncologist, who has seen all kinds of conditions, said DAD LOOKS GOOD.  He also spoke of moving Dad to a surgical floor out of ICU, which is also very good. He also spoke to moving forward with the surgery once the infection is under control. "Under control" meaning two days of normal blood cultures and labs. I don't know how long that might take. From the condition Dad was in on Saturday afternoon (and there are dear friends/neighbors that can attest to it) to his condition this morning, he is a different person. 

All of you prayer warriors, thank you, and thank you to the countless others who continue to love us and care for us in so many ways. I know there are friends and neighbors who are taking care of plowing and shoveling, vehicle inspections, and the "precious" Siamese (who are spoiled beyond any level my siblings and I ever experienced as kids), and the endless cards of support.  My husband and son have been loved on too with special dinners and playdates, which keeps Sam's mind off the fact that Mommy has not been home much b/c Pap is not well. He experiences things quite deeply, so these distractions are appreciated! 

I'll hop back on and update if anything changes. Much love to all.......Jen

In MICU at UMMC Baltimore

Hi everyone. Sorry it has taken so long to get this going again. I think everyone wants to know the immediate news, so I'll start and then go backward.

VERY suddenly, Dad became very weak, confused, and unable to walk yesterday. He was sleeping all the time and would only stir for a moment when Mom woke him. Mom had to call the neighbor to help lift Dad, which led to a call to me and my arrival back "home" to WV. When I got  there, members of our Honeywood family was all astir, twirling around to do as much as they could to help. Genetics doesn't always determine whose included in your family. We all know that. Dad was sleeping and did not awake at all for me. The felines were agitated, jumping up on Dad and chirping at me. They had quite a bit to say. Animals are extraordinary in their sense of knowing when someone is just "not right," and they were spot on. Dad was definitely "not right." It was quite evident that medical care was an immediate need.

911 was called. After the EMTs got Dad on the stretcher, Rummy (aka, the feline that owns Dad) plopped himself right up on Dad's stomach and had no intentions on moving. It was not surprising to me, but then again, it was.

I rode with Dad to Meritus in Hagerstown. Turns out one of EMTs was a student of mine just a "few" (a-hem) years ago. Meritus ER staff was really great. The RN, Bryan, was truly top notch. Once he got a 104 temp on Dad, he flew into supernova speed. ER doc got on the phone with University and the plan was to get dad transferred to Baltimore when a bed opened up. In the meantime, they would keep Dad comfortable and get him hydrated.

After the first bag of saline, Dad's vitals started to improve and he could answer questions much better. All were impressed with how much better Dad had become after some fluids. Once the tummy CT results showed that the liver abscess was BACK, that's when events became more serious. Docs at University wanted Dad under their care asap, and we were told that although Dad had brightened since arriving to Meritus, the reality is he is still very sick, and the situation could change quickly. At that point, they prepared Dad for a med flight to University, which was also.....supernova fast!

Mom and I are gowned and gloved and with Dad now in MICU. Texting & typing while gloved is a challenge, so I apologize for any errors. He had an uneventful night, which is fantastic. He is not running a fever at this time, and has needed no meds to keep a normal temp. That is also fantastic. He's getting broad spectrum antibiotics to start killing the bugs. The plan will be to drain that abscess again....the same procedure he had in December. He'll be in much pain after that.

Dad said the chopper ride was nice, and is a bit chatty on and off in between sleeping. He is aware that he's in ICU and gave me a glare for it. I think that has played with his head a smidge.

My parents, myself, and my siblings are greatly appreciative of the help and support from all of you. All of this is exhausting and stressful....yes....no doubt about that. However, it would be a thousand times more so without all of you who are reading this. You are reading this b/c you care about us. We feel it and we love you all so much for it. My prayer warriors are ON. I know that. I've already been witness to His glory and have felt His love over the last 24 hours.

I'll be in touch. Much, much love to all......Jen